I learnt some thing very beautiful today. I don’t know if any of us would have taken the trouble to analyse the difference between deciding and choosing. We always use these words as if they are synonyms. But if we realise the difference we can live a better life. Lets go word by word..
Decide: When we have two options we discard one over the other. But you know what, we actually kill the other option. It feel proud to say ‘ I took a decision’. When we decide we base our decision on certain considerations. Our decisions are related to a favorable situation or condition. So when the situation changes the same decisions become wrong. To take an example: You decide to take up one job and discard the other because the office was nearby and may be because the position was good. But what happens if the office shifts to another city or after some time the same position feels stupid. Your considerations change. So you resent your own decision. You are unhappy in the same situation which made you happy earlier. You hate your own decision. This is the result of every decision. So actually the situations take the decision for you. You have no control over your decisions.
Choice: Choice is something which you choose, out of one or many options. Even in this case there are considerations, but the choice is yours. The consideration is for a yes or no and not for a ‘WHY”. In this case you don’t kill the other options. You make choice because you wanted or you desired for it. Take the example of the same job. If you choose to work for a company because of its vision or lets say because of its leadership, then you have made your choice. Since there is no ‘WHY’ no matter what changes happen you are still pleased with your choice. In this case you make the choice. You are in control.
It sounds a little confusing? Think a little and the vision will get clear.
UPDated: Today, I mean the 30th October 10. A reader of this blog came back to me saying this..(BTW this is one of the most debated topics on my blog)
‘Purnima, i think choice is when i cant find a reason for what i have done or said’ .
This is exactly what i meant to say. (but made a mistake while saying it.. hence i have edited the para above) Lets take some of the biggest decisions in life.. I will take mine. I am entrepreneur.. one of the most common questions thrown at me is usually “why did you leave your secure job to become entrepreneur?” surprisingly my answer mostly is ‘because i wanted to be one’.. I mean look at this way. If i had decided to be a entrepreneur because i want to be on my own.. how can i plan to scale and bring in investors. If i had decided to become an entrepreneur to make tons of money.. how can i enjoy when i am not making enough money. And i can go on…
This is what happens when love and marriage is for a reason.. for money, for security, for beauty, for …. so the next time when someone asks ‘why have you done this?’ ‘why do you love that person?’ “why did you choose that company?” and when you have no answer.. you have made your choice :-). we are so tuned that we force ourselves to create a reason even if we don’t have one. It somehow sounds foolish to do something not knowing why. But that’s the best place to be in..