The most common question thrown at me is : what books do you recommend? what books helped you grow, become better, win etc., so here goes..
Some books change your life forever.. PULLING YOUR OWN STRINGS… is one of the books which did this to me. I am not sure how many years (20?) back I came across this book.. but all I remember is that I got in my hand when i needed it most..when i had no control over my life. This book has been my companion for many years..and i have gifted it to many. I still remember a line from the books which says..
Pulling Your Own Strings is devoted to people who want to stop being victimized and take charge of their own lives. To do this Dr. Wayne W. Dyer encourages others to think for themselves and if necessary become rebellious.
Each chapter offers guidance on how to stop allowing others to pull their strings. There are practical steps for overcoming victim habits with quizzes included.
Pulling Your Own Strings gives easy to understand specific strategies on how to get out of victim habits.
There are examples of real life situations with new ways to respond to attempts at manipulation.
- Becoming aware that victimization is taking place is the first step but it is not enough. Next is to change attitudes and expectations. There are a set of principles and strategies that guide people into acting out on their non-victim status.
Being Victimized by Your Past
One of the biggest ways people allow themselves to be victimized is by their past. Frequently people will tell others how they should have done something differently or even how they should feel about an event. Since the past can’t be changed, the only use for this statement is for inducing guilt.
- People can victimize themselves with the past. This is one of the most useful chapters urging others to purge bad memories and forgive others. Not doing so is only hurting the person holding the grudge.
Action is the simplest solution offered continuously throughout the book. People teach others how they want to be treated through their actions. Constant gut wrenching conversations may feel like much has been purged but often the same results will follow without action.
Taking action is also a simple way to treat depression and confront fears. When people get busy doing things they enjoy, they’re usually no longer depressed.
Perseverance is one of the most important ways to avoid being victimized. Many bank on others giving in or giving up and that’s how they continue to victimize and manipulate.
- Other issues are addressed in chapters such as Avoiding the Comparison Trap, Becoming Quietly Effective, Not Expecting “Them” to Understand, Never Place Loyalty to Institutions and Things Above Loyalty to Yourself, Distinguishing Judgments and Reality and Being Creatively Alive in Every Situation. The last chapter is entitled Victim or Victor. It includes one hundred situations with a victim or a non-victim response. It’s useful because it shows alternatives to typical victim responses.